Male Ego : Kills Your Relationship
There’s a very thin line between our ego and self-esteem. First, it can present itself as 1 and the same and you’re attracted to his confidence and assertiveness. As you go deep into your relationship, you’ll learn that the ego will only serve itself and therefore, ruin your relationship.
Difference between ego and self-esteem?
Men with big ego are often insecure and try to cover up those insecurities with over compensation. In a truth, a man with a big ego lacks confidence and self-love.
8 signs a man has a big ego (and it’s ruining your relationship).
1. He talks about himself — a lot.
The egoist is more interested in his own life and struggles than he is in yours. Often when you share something, he can turn it around and make it about him only. Take notice of who’s doing most of talking in your relationship. Does he hijack every topic and answer questions on your behalf in social situations? Ohh Yeahh.
2. He protects himself first.
The ego man wants to protect itself before all, even if it means protecting itself from being bruised by you. He often runs away and will build evidences to clear his actions even if it means hurting you in the process.
3. He won’t take your advice.
Ohh man, you are right about something and he’s wrong all the way. What if he do take your advices and something amazing happens? He won’t be able to take all the credits and his ego can’t take that.
4. He compares himself and your relationship to others.
The ego is served by outside circumstances instead of internal love. His ego is running the show. It will compare itself to others to measure its self-worth. The worst is when he compares himself to you and looses self-esteem when he believes you out performed him.
5. He’s not present.
The ego decides what is worth his time and what’s not. He is unable to stay in moment. He is impatient and doesn’t connect with others, rather.
6. He’s here for the boost.
His relationship serves him alone. He’s dependent on your love to boost his self-value. He knows he’s not for you, yet he will keep around because you give him that ego boosting.
7. He criticizes you frequently.
The ego thrives when others fail. He’s quick to point out your faults or tell you when you’re wrong. He never gives you constructive criticism on how to do better.
8. He’s jealous.
His ego is the only important person in your life. He keeps bringing up the ex you’re still friends with and asks you where you are if you’re out past a quick time. He doesn’t like how much time you spend with your family either.
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The Male Ego: What It Means and More
Its presence and strength are told by a combination of:
- internal pointers: thoughts, emotions, needs
- external pointers: environment, the reaction of others to you, social influences
And our egos can get wounded.
Many in society have characterized the male ego in one way — large and fragile — no matter the man they’re referring to. But this isn’t true. While some men do have delicate egos or low self-efficacy, others can have strong egos or moderate or high self-efficacy.
But the construct and durability of male egos are different for each male, meaning that what affects them and how they’re affected differs from person to person. The term “male ego” tells a judgmental type of superiority with a need to show off, constantly striving to impress (women) and out do the others .
We’re told that men with big egos are easily wounded and that the more powerful the man, the larger and more fragile his ego. But is this true?
It’s a complicated question, but for the most part — not necessarily.
The male ego can in some cases be limited to how and where a man sees his place in the world and whether he’s living up to expectations — his and those of society.
Cultural stereotypes for men can be intricately tied to both the inflation and deflation of the male ego. Some men take themselves by the answers to the following questions:
- Am I strong enough?
- Am I wealthy enough?
- Do I meet the traditional definition of masculinity?
- Do I attract women?
- Do I control things or people?
- Do people recognize me for these things and am I respected and revered for them?
Some men may use these questions to tell whether they feel good (healthy ego) or poorly about themselves (wounded ego), which may result in a need to elevate their self-efficacy and the development of their ego.
What are the causes?
So, how did men come to have egos so precariously balanced on the status and opinions of others? The nature of the male ego has social, psychological, and biological roots. One of the largest influences on the male ego is traditional gender roles. While these roles are becoming antiquated and fading away to new ideals, they’re still powerful factors.
These roles initially came from the need to leverage the biological differences between men and women in the most productive way to ensure survival. While the roles themselves aren’t an issue, the power differences set around them by society have been difficult to change.
So, the notion that men are to behave a certain way or have specific characteristics still persists and strongly influences the male ego. For example, men are supposed to be
- in charge
- strong
- take care of the family
- bear the responsibility for the livelihood of the family
But it’s not the only thing.
Additionally, many men have trouble showing certain emotions — including anxiety and sadness. For instance, it’s long been said that MEN DONT CRY.
They do and they’re no less masculine for it either.
Tips to deal with the male ego
Learning how to deal with the male ego can be crucial to having and maintaining a healthy relationship. This means understanding how it evolved for the man or men in your life and how to help them reframe how they measure their own value. Consider these tips when dealing with a male ego:
- Look at the larger picture: Is the problem with this particular man or what’s influenced him to this point?
- Help him see his behavior through your eyes: If he acts superior, disrespectful, or sexist, consider having a conversation about the impact his actions and remarks can have on those around him.
- Let him know what you value in him: Try to focus on the internal, not external things such as money, appearance, job, etc. Helping him see his worth is measured by more than those things can be crucial.
- Be an active listener: If he’s stressed about something or feeling sad, try to listen actively and with empathy.
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